{"id":10554,"date":"2011-04-12T15:45:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-12T20:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/devweb.rjrinnovations.com\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\/"},"modified":"2016-10-13T10:21:46","modified_gmt":"2016-10-13T14:21:46","slug":"best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rjrinnovations.com\/fr\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Best practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny)"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
File this one under \u201crequest and support\u201d and best practices for Incident Management and just in case you need a laugh.\u00a0 This taken from the\u00a0<\/span>Airline pilots forum<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and these are better than the snippets you hear from the pc manufacturers call centers.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
These are some of the actual responses to \u201chelp tickets\u201d submitted by pilots.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough<\/span><\/strong>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft<\/span><\/em>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Something loose in cockpit<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Something tightened in cockpit<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Dead bugs on windshield<\/span><\/strong>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Live bugs on back-order.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Evidence removed.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: DME volume set to more believable level.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: That’s what friction locks are for.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Suspected crack in windshield.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Suspect you’re right.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Number 3 engine missing.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Target radar hums.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Mouse in cockpit.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Cat installed.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

And the best one for last………………<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
pounding on something with a hammer.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

S: Took hammer away from midget.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
Enjoy-\u00a0<\/span>The ITSMguy<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

File this one under \u201crequest and support\u201d and best practices for Incident Management and just in case you need a laugh.\u00a0 This taken from the\u00a0Airline pilots forum\u00a0and these are better than the snippets you hear from the pc manufacturers call centers.\u00a0 These are some of the actual responses to \u201chelp […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[39],"class_list":["post-10554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-english-fr"],"yoast_head":"\nBest practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny) - RJR Innovations<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.rjrinnovations.com\/fr\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Best practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny) - RJR Innovations\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"File this one under \u201crequest and support\u201d and best practices for Incident Management and just in case you need a laugh.\u00a0 This taken from the\u00a0Airline pilots forum\u00a0and these are better than the snippets you hear from the pc manufacturers call centers.\u00a0 These are some of the actual responses to \u201chelp [...]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.rjrinnovations.com\/fr\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"RJR Innovations\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/RJR-Innovations-107107129324171\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-04-12T20:45:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-10-13T14:21:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@RJRInnovations\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@RJRInnovations\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"Best practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny)\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-04-12T20:45:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-10-13T14:21:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":373,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"English @fr\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/\",\"name\":\"Best practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny) - RJR Innovations\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-04-12T20:45:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-10-13T14:21:46+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/best-practices-in-how-to-reply-to-weird-tickets-funny-2\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/fr\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Best practices in how to reply to weird tickets (Funny)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.rjrinnovations.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"RJR Innovations\",\"description\":\"Connect your business... 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